It's a weird realization that this may be the last baby. I'm about 99% sure I do not want to have any more children. It has nothing to do with being pregnant or birthing a child, or even raising a baby. I love LOVE LOVE all of that. It's just that when I imagine myself the mother of 5 children it gives me a panic attack. I am already ironed out with the 4 that we have. I am so lucky to have Tovey helping me as much as he does so I really shouldn't complain. I just want to be the kind of Mom I had. The kind of Mom who was into the details of every one of her child's life. Being that I work and stay home it's really hard to "sanely" manage all of that.
(Sam looks like Bill Murray, just sayin'.)
Anyway, I just love our little Sam and part of me mourns each day that he gets older. He has such a calming disposion. He smiles and interacts with everyone so well. He's almost 7 months old now and I really need to get him sleeping through the night. It's just that the one hour in the middle of night is the only time that it's just me and him.
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